Isn’t it everyone’s desire to have a happy home?  I believe I have a happy home and I am very thankful to God for this beautiful gift in my life.  Having a happy home does not mean that we never have any unhappy moments, because we certainly do have our share of those.  But overall, we love each other, we love God, and our home is a place of comfort and peace, a place we can rest and rejuvenate together.  All of us love being together in our home.  But do happy homes just happen?  No, they do not.  They require effort and planning.  I have spoken with several young moms about this issue lately and I have realized that we may have fallen short in the training of our children as we prepare them to create their own homes.

 It used to be that even our public education system took a part in training young people in the arts of homemaking.  However, the rise of feminism came upon us and it was suddenly politically incorrect to have home economics in our schools, as if it were being stated that keeping a home was the only job a woman could do.  Suddenly, it was unpopular for girls to talk about wanting to be mothers and homemakers and girls were encouraged to think “higher and broader” and choose a “real career”.  Thankfully, I see the pendulum swinging a little bit more back to the center and a lot of mature people without political agendas realize that women can do many things and they can do them very well.   They also realize that if a woman chooses to marry and have a family then that should become her primary responsibility.  It is not that she cannot still work at an outside job, but that she keeps her home at the top of her priority list.  But sadly, in the process of all this arguing, something precious has been lost in the teaching of our daughters on how to make a happy home.  

As a mom who has had both the privilege of staying home with my kids and also at other times having to work outside the home, I feel I have some well-learned insight to share with you on how to make a happy home.  Some of the things I have learned are not because I did them, but because I did not do them.  You can learn from my mistakes!

First of all, we should never be afraid to say that being able to stay home and raise our babies is the best option available.  I know it isn’t always possible; it wasn’t always for me either.  But that does not take away from the fact that it is the best and healthiest option for our children.  If we can do ANYTHING AT ALL that would enable us to raise our own children, we should do it!   It makes having a happy home so much easier!

Whether we work in the home or outside of the home there are things we can do to make our homes run smoothly and therefore happily.  Sometimes the simplest things make the biggest difference. 

Make your bed every morning and teach your children to make theirs as well.          Getting off on the right    foot each day makes the biggest difference.  Making your bed only takes a couple of minutes but it makes you feel good ALL day long.       

Put things away as soon as you finish using them.  This prevents piles of things building up into seemingly impossible mounds of housework.

Do your dishes after every meal.  How discouraging is it to get up in the morning to find last night’s dishes piled all over the counters.  It’s so much nicer to walk in your kitchen every morning when it is clean and neat.

ORGANIZATION, ORGANIZATION, ORGANIZATION.  This can’t be stressed enough.  Take some time and draw up a schedule of housework.  Who is going to be responsible for what chore is on what day.  Pick the same day every week for laundry, vacuuming, dusting, etc.  And stick to it!  So much of the discord we have in our homes today is simply because we do not discipline ourselves to be organized.

A note to stay at home moms:  Sometimes, because we are our own boss we don’t really have anyone to be accountable to.  Therefore, we find it easy to bend and break the rules.

Discipline can be more difficult for you.  Make it your daily priority to stick to a schedule.

Get up on time and get your day going.  Ask God to help you in this area – He will!

Don’t leave the television on in your home all day.  Have some praise music on in the background when you wake your children up or at the end of the day.  There is something about worshipping God; even unconsciously that makes your heart happy!

Straighten up your living/family rooms before you go to bed.  Your home doesn’t have to be “deep-cleaned” to give the appearance of being clean.  Train your children to put their things away before they go to bed.  They will do ANYTHING to stay up longer!

Try so hard to begin your day by filling yourself up with God’s word.  As I heard Beth Moore say recently, “you can only pour out of yourself what you are filled up with”.  Again, this is just a matter of discipline and until we conquer it we will always fall short.

Create fun in your home!  Play a game, take a walk, have an indoor picnic or an outdoor picnic.  Try to stay away from tv or videos but if you do watch something together as a family take time afterwards to discuss what you watched.  Having fun together will be the glue that holds you together.  It is so very important to laugh together.  As a parent you are responsible for creating fun in your family.

Sit down and have dinner together as a family as often as you possibly can.  The world will do it’s best to rob your family of this time and as the mom – you will have to “fight the good fight”.  Guard this precious time with everything you have.  Don’t let sports, lessons, or work take this away from your family.

Sometimes being too serious about housekeeping can be the very thing that causes turmoil and strife in your home.  Make sure that you have a healthy balance of work and play.  I have embroidered one of my favorite sayings and it has hung on my wall for many years.  It says this:

                                Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow

                                For babies grow up, I’ve learned to my sorrow

                                So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep

                                I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep!

There is a great website with wonderful parenting ideas that I just love.  It is Heritage Builders and you can find it at www.heritagebuilders.com.  There are lots of great ideas to use in your families.

I hope you have appreciated these tips.  These are just a few things that can make a big difference. It has not been my intent to sound harsh or present impossible tasks before you.  I just truly believe with my whole heart that if we choose to make it a priority in our life then God will bless us with the happiest of homes.  You will have a haven blessed by God!

Email me at rgryan@mvcnaz.org and let me know what you think!   I would love to hear what works in your families.  If you have some additional ideas let me know and I will publish them in a future article.

Blessings on you!

Robin